I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!
The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.
My heart has been weary these past six months, yet daily I am Daring to Hope.
This Sunday has been a heart moving experience for Greg and myself. Several of our teenagers contacted us Saturday night and wanted to come to church. After arranging rides we awaited to see what God would do the next morning. As I got ready to come early for rehearsal I received a text message from Kayla (7th grade) who also wanted to come to church, and come early to help. She came in time for rehearsal, trained on the slide presentation and ran the show during service. She did a great job and really enjoyed serving. She wants to serve again as to several of our other students.Meanwhile Greg picked up 3 boys and brought them to church, two of which had never been, and one that visited when we were at Lee Vista Elementary. They really enjoyed the service and expressed that 'GraceRiver does not feel like other churches, it is fun and understandable." Two of the three boys were prompted to give some of their own money... THIS IS HUGE!!! As Greg and I were talking we can see through their giving the story of the poor widow in scripture who gave what she could even though it was not much.... the story of the heart.Mark 12:41-44
Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.After church we took Greg out for Father's day and had a great afternoon of fun and discipleship in action. God is moving in the hearts of teenagers in SouthEast Orlando and I am so thankful for all that you guys are doing to support His work.May your hearts be encouraged in the life change that is happening.
The people of Panama are on my heart to pray for. I hope I will get to go back again to minister to the women there.
The number 2 song on itunes this week is called "I kissed a girl'..... by Katy Perry, a female.Recently I have had several students that are questioning homosexuality, this is really becoming a common and 'cool' thing among teenagers today. It breaks my heart that homosexuality is becoming a common way that teens are getting their empty emotional banks filled. I surveyed some of my students last week and out of all the surveys no of them thought that the media around them influenced them. I would disagree...This week we are going to be having a more laid back experience and talk about what criteria we use to come up with the values we have.I have included the lyrics to this song below as I don't agree with homosexuality, I do believe that this song describes what many of our teens are experiencing today.I Kissed A Girl lyrics
Katy PerryThis was never the way I plannedNot my intentionI got so brave, drink in handLost my discretionIt's not what, I'm used toJust wanna try you onI'm curious for youCaught my attentionI kissed a girl and I liked itThe taste of her cherry chapstickI kissed a girl just to try itI hope my boyfriend don't mind itIt felt so wrongIt felt so rightDon't mean I'm in love tonightI kissed a girl and I liked itI liked itNo, I don't even know your nameIt doesn't matterYour my experimental gameJust human natureIt's not what, good girls doNot how they should behaveMy head gets so confusedHard to obeyI kissed a girl and I liked itThe taste of her cherry chapstickI kissed a girl just to try itI hope my boyfriend don't mind itIt felt so wrongIt felt so rightDon't mean I'm in love tonightI kissed a girl and I liked itI liked itUs girls we are so magicalSoft skin, red lips, so kissableHard to resist so touchableToo good to deny itAin't no big deal, it's innocentI kissed a girl and I liked itThe taste of her cherry chapstickI kissed a girl just to try itI hope my boyfriend don't mind itIt felt so wrongIt felt so rightDon't mean I'm in love tonightI kissed a girl and I liked itI liked itPlease pray that God would open doors and conversations that these teens would understand how He designed Love and relationships to be.
Here is a video from the past 6 months of EPIC. It is amazing how much these kids have changed.. God is doing a lot....
And so it begins.... a summer of fun! We kicked the summer off with lots of FUN at EPIC & then hung out at McDonalds.
For those of you who have requested photos here is a recent one showing off my new piercing.
Well, a few weeks ago we went on our Disney cruise and it was AMAZING! Check out the video below from our Pirate Adventure in Grand Caymen. Greg is so FUN! Almost 6 years of marriage and I love him more today than ever. It was great to take some time to play & be 'kids'.
Well, we are back from vacation and had a wonderful and relaxing time. Since being back we have jumped right back into hanging with our EPIC kids.
Tomorrow night at EPIC we kick off our Boot Camp Series. I am so excited, God has big things in store. Working with teens is not always a rewarding job in the here and now, but this text below reminds me of the important part my team plays in the lives of the teenagers we work with.
Making a Difference
You don't have to actually answer the questions below. Just read the text straight through, and you'll get the point.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners .
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
This past weekend was exhausting, but also full of God moments. Some of my EPIC students worked with me at our Healthy Kids Outreach at the YMCA on Sat & 2 girls spent the night. We had some incredible conversations and 1 girl Ash, accepted Christ!!!!
Here is a short video from about day 7 on our trip. We had just arrived in Panama a few hours previously and were experiencing a huge difference from the living conditions and poverty we experienced in Nicaragua
So, this past week I had the opportunity to attend the Photoshop World Conference in Orlando, FL. This is the first time I was able to afford to attend this conference as it is pretty expensive ($500 for reg). Pray my business does well this year :)
Anyway, I learned lots and again realized how much I still would like to learn.
Over the course of the conference I had a severe case of swimmers ear. I was in a lot of pain and could not talk much because it hurt to even move my jaw. God once again filled my heart with the word he has been speaking to me over the past month.
OBSERVE.
So, instead of meeting new people, I observed...... and began to thank God for where he has me in life.
You see, back in 2000 I had a great internship working for a fortune 500 company. It was luxurious and paid well. I was offered a continuation of my internship until I graduated the following year and a promise of a job.
From a worldly perspective this was great and very secure. I had been volunteering all my free time doing ‘ministry’ for the past 4 years at our college campus, leading small groups, prayer and encouragement teams, women's conferences, worship team...... I worked with many people who were on ‘staff’ with the ministry.
While I loved serving and doing ministry, I had decided that working as a full time ‘staff’ member in a ministry was not for me. I wanted to be in the workplace and share God there.
Well, that summer God offered me an internship where I would make $800 for the summer & work my tail off. It was for a nonprofit company - Young Life. I ended up taking the internship in NY. My fellow co-workers thought I was crazy to leave my current job and looking back, I was. However, God had a plan far beyond what I could imagine.
Long story short, that summer was one of the most fulfilling jobs I have ever had. There was something amazing about working hard and designing videos that each week shared about the adventure of a week at camp and the message of Christ dying for our sins.
Back at the Photoshop conference as I sat observing the other attendees and heard about where they worked and what they did, yes, there were moments of wishing I had the latest equipment and unlimited resources for designing, but there was also the reminder of the gift God has give me.
He has put me in my sweet spot.
There is nothing I would rather do than use the talents God has given me to allow people to connect deeper with him, or perhaps see a perspective of him that they didn’t even know existed.
Paul sums it up in Acts when he writes:
"But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus- the work of telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love."-Paul (Acts 20:24)
I guess God wanted to remind me that even though sometimes we don’t always see the affect of our efforts, there is nothing better than our efforts being to increase his kingdom.
**disclaimer - I do not believe that you have to be in full time ministry to be living your life in this way, this is just the journey that God has taken me on.
38 teenagers, 4 staff members and the day before spring break....... some, me included would say this is a disaster in the making, however God had different plans.
This past week at EPIC, our teenage community with GraceRiver Church, we were down on help on up on kids packed full of energy. We had the EPIC band playing for the second time and Jeff, one of our staff members, was going to be speaking for the first time. The previous week we had four students decide to follow Christ and 5 others that what to understand what this ‘beyond ordinary life” we refer to is all about. We were praying that God would move in big ways in the hearts of our teens again this week.
Wednesday - EPIC Spring Break Kick-Off
7:00 a.m. - Drop off Greg at the airport for his business conference in PA. I am glad he has the opportunity to go, but also know how it will affect the kids him not being there. The majority of Greg’s small group return each week craving to connect with him, a solid male who is committed to them and not going anywhere soon.
8:00 a.m. - @ the Gym
As I am lifting weights I pray about the day to come and what God has in store for these students tonight. I pray that I will remember the names of new students and, even with the lack of help, be able to have some deep heart connections with ones that have been coming for awhile.
For me it is early and I want to go back to bed, but I focus and remember some of the reasons I am working out every other day.........to be in better health, to be able to hopefully have kids of my own, to be able to be more active and ‘play” more with my students that through those ‘fun’ times deeper connections would be made....so that God could be glorified more through me.
9:00 a.m. - still @ the gym
I am tired and I want to go home. But, if I go home now I know that I will not go to our Middle School to visit the teenagers during lunch. I decide to stay and take the aqua aerobics class. There are quite a few people in the class today, most I hardly know since I am working out at a different location than normal, that is fine with me - I am tired and don’t want to connect with anyone.
Several women want to talk with me, but I am still tired - God please, I really don’t want to connect with people right now - the day ahead is going to be exhausting emotionally. God says, “Connect. Be encouraged.” I speak with 4 different women, God provides opportunities brought up by them to share about GraceRiver Church, EPIC and the work God is doing.
11:00 a.m. - driving to Middle School
I am thankful that God has opened the doors for me to visit our students at Odyssey Middle School - not all schools are open to Christian leaders coming in. However, I feel it again. That tug in my gut, desperately pleading to not go back to Middle School. Middle School is a hard time in life and for most of us we would never want to go back and relive those years. Each time I go to visit the teens during their lunch, I feel all the insecurities coming back - it feels like once again I am in Middle School..... will they like me, will I have a place to sit, will anyone talk to me, am I cool enough....... this stinks!!
I pull open the doors to the cafeteria full of lost souls.
Before I can even fully get into the cafeteria one of my students comes running up to give me a big hug. I see that she is wearing her EPIC shirt - the exact same one I have one. She is coming tonight and wants me to come and say Hi to the kids at her table. After I talk a bit I get up and wander around looking for other students I recognize and praying I will remember their names. Lord lead me to the tables and students you want me to talk with.
Lunch is almost over and I am heading back to the doors to hold them open as the kids leave and the next group comes in. A group of boys at a table catch my eye. I start a conversation with them & they are snickering all through out. This starts to hurt my heart, why are they laughing at me..... I am so not cool..... I want to leave right now.... stupid middle schoolers........
Wait. Engage. Be Jesus to them.
Deep Breath.
Ok God lead the way.
5 more lunches to go and many more students to connect with. I stay and God provides some really cool connections. I meet two new tables full of students due to 2 teens I met at the Easter Egg Extravaganza outreach we did the past Saturday. One girl Stephanie, sees me, remembers me and strikes up conversation with me.
Ok God, maybe middle schoolers are not stupid.
3:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. - @ home
I check my email, create the slideshow for EPIC, check to see if there are any last minute needs, changes or cancelations, and connect with Greg. He has arrived in PA. I catch him up on todays adventure at Odyssey Middle School.
5:15 p.m. - Heading out to the YMCA where we meet for EPIC
I receive a phone call from our bass player that the drums we are to use tonight are locked in our students garage and his Dad has left for the evening with the key. Oh no!! Where in the world can we get a drum set in the next 20 min? The band takes up 20 mins of our program tonight - what will we do if we can’t play??
God, calm me in this moment and show me what to do.
I remember one of our pastors has an electric drum set. I call and race over to grab the set. Long story short - it was crazy, but the band was able to play - it was a bit rough, but the students just seemed excited to see their peers playing and singing.
7:00 p.m. - @ the YMCA - EPIC
Hanging out, EPIC Band playing. Games.... oh no, miscommunication we have no games??? Think, what can I do. God lead the way - we are losing control of the group we are down on staff and the teens energy is through the roof....
Boot Camp.
In May we will be doing a outreach to our soldiers overseas and as the fun aspect we will have a our own boot camp lead by a former Marine and Army member.
We will have a test run tonight - we have to get some of this energy out or the kids will never listen to Jeff. We take the kids outside and give them a small taste of boot camp. Shane, a former Marine, has the kids going from pushups to jumping jacks to running in place. Ah yes, some of that energy is being released.
They come inside and Jeff shares. The students are so attentive, interested and engaged. It is like a different group of kids. I guess you could say the brief exercise helped, however I think it is God breathing into these students feeding their hunger for a ‘beyond ordinary life.”
Spring Break is next week - I am glad for the week off to catch my breath and jump back in again. Glory to God.
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Nicaragua is surrounded by several active volcanoes. We had the opportunity to visit this one and climb to the top. Because of the volconaoes and the fact that most people burn their garbage on the street, you are constantly breathing in smoke and ash.
One of the families that moved to Nicaragua from Honduras has a little boy that the polluted air has really effected his health. He has broken out in rashes and at times had difficulty breathing. They thought about moving back but heard clearly from God that they were to stay & allow Him to work in their son's life in the area of his health, that He (God) would be glorified through the healing. They have started to see and share small ways that God is working in this area.
This is Ana, a woman in Nicaragua that I was able to deeply connect with. We stayed in her and her husbands home along with their 2 adorable children. Her husband Walter is a Doctor and runs the clinic for malnourished children. Ana and Walter speak some English & surprisingly my ability to understand Spanish this trip was amazing. I am still not the best at speaking, but the majority of the time can understand what is going on around me.
Me and Judi Major, the founder of Mujer Mujer ministry, with a native Panamanian.
These are some of the supplies that EPIC, our teenage ministry in Orlando and the Pharmacy staff at Florida East Hospital, donated for the malnourished children. 
Tonight we had EPIC (our weekly meeting with teenagers) and while it started off feeling a bit overwhelming, God worked in the hearts of our teenagers.
1. Donkey - Jesus & his friends (called disciples) we going to Jerusalem. He told 2 of his friends to go get a donkey & tell the owner they needed it. Jesus road into Jerusalem on the donkey & when the people saw him coming the created a path of palm leaves & Shouted Hosanna - Jesus is the King
2. Silver Coins - Not everyone was happy including some of the priests who did not believe that Jesus was the Son of God. They wanted to arrest and kill Jesus. They went to one of Jesus’ friends, Judas, and told him that if he would betray Jesus they would give him 30 pieces of silver.
3. Cup - Jesus sat down to have a meal with his friends, his last supper. He told them that the next day he would be in Heaven with his Father. His friends said they would not let anything happen to him. Jesus said that one of them had already taken money to betray them.
To remember him Jesus took some bread and said “This is my body, take it and eat it and remember me.” Then he took a cup of wine and told them “This is my blood. Drink it and remember me.”
4. Praying hands - After dinner Jesus and his friends walked to the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus was very sad and asked his friends to watch over him while he prayed. As he prayed his friends fell asleep. Then his friend Judas arrived with soldiers who came to arrest Jesus. Judas kissed Jesus on the cheek as a way of pointing out who he was to the soldiers.
Peter, one of Jesus friends cut off the ear of one of the soldiers. Jesus said he should not have done that and touched the mans ear and healed it.
The disciples ran away in fear for their lives.
5. Leather Whip - The leaders could not find anything wrong that Jesus had done, even though they paid people to lie about him. Eventually they asked him if he was the Son of God. - He said “I am” and that was enough, they said it was a insult to God.
They took him to Pontius pilate, the Roman Governor. The people asked Pilate to free a murderer named Barabbas and crucify Jesus - King of the Jews. Even though Jesus was innocent of any crime, Pilate listened to the people.
The soldiers took Jesus away and Whipped him.
6. Crown of Thorns - They removed Jesus clothes and crushed a crown of thorns on his head. They mocked him as blood ran down his forehead saying “Hail, King of the Jews.”
7. Cross Made of Nails - Jesus was made to carry a heavy wooden cross upon his beaten bloodied back to the place where he would be crucified. The soldiers drove 3 large nails into Jesus hands and feet. Two robbers were also put up on crosses, one on either side of Jesus.
One of the robbers spoke to Jesus saying Save Yourself and us! The other criminal said, we are punished justly, but this man has done nothing wrong. Then he said to Jesus - remember me when you come into your kingdom today. Jesus said, Today you will be with me in Paradise.
8. Soldiers Spear - The solders went up to the thief's and broke their legs so that they could not longer hold themselves up to keep from suffocating and would die more quickly. When they got to Jesus they saw he was already dead. To make sure he was absolutely dead they pierced him in the side with a spear and blood and water poured out, proving he was dead.
9. White Linen - When Jesus was taken down from the cross they wrapped his body in linen and placed it in a tomb cut into the rock & sealed it with a stone larger than a door and heaver than a car. Roman soliders were placed to keep people outside of and away from the tomb.
10. Stone - Two days later a friend of Jesus named Mary Magdalen when to the tomb. She was shocked to find the huge stone moved away and the body gone. She ran to tell Jesus other friends that she had only found burial sheets in the tomb.
11. Empty Egg - As Mary was crying a man asked her why she was crying - she explained that Jesus was gone and then realized the man she was talking to was Jesus risen from the dead. Mary went and told Jesus friends.
Jesus appeared to his friends many times. He told his friends once he left they would receive the power of the Holy Spirit & to spread the word of God throughout the world.
Tonight we had 4 students invite Christ into their hearts & 4 more that want to meet with myself and Greg to talk about what it means to have a relationship with God. God is working in the lives of teenagers in South East Orlando.
My heart breaks for those that turn away from God... especially teenagers. These last few months have given me a very weary heart for two of my close friends whom were growing and walking with God.
We leave in a week! It really does not seem real yet. It has been really cool to see all the ways that our community us has pitched in to donate supplies and give to others.
Last week I was at the library and was amazed when I came in to see that half of the library was taken over by computers. As I walked past the people on the computers I was sad for the consuming nature that the computers seemed to have upon the users.
Please take a moment to pray for my friend Jenni. She is leaving for her first missions trip to Nigeria, something her heart has desired to do for years. Pray for safety, good health, deep connections with the people and a deeper understanding for God's future calling on her life.
